ON THE DAY I BECAME REDUNDANT

The day I became redundant was not your typical day. And it was different. It was beautiful. It was far too beautiful for mid-March in New England. It was so beautiful in fact that many good people in the office said things like, Beautiful day isn't it. And before 2:43, Friday, March 16, I said in turn, Yes, it is isn't it.

And it was, a beautiful day. God it was sunny, and beautiful, and just gorgeous. And when my boss said we should meet outside on the porch, I was thinking to myself, What a beautiful day, that we can have our little meeting outside. Isn't that really a-typical that we can meet outside?

And the last words that he said before we sat down on the still cold and damp red brick steps under the warmest sun either one of us has felt in at least 6 months to begin our meeting properly were, Oh, what a BEAUTIFUL day, just gorgeous. And it was 2:41 at the time so I had to agree, Yes, Steve Kmetko (that's not his real name), it is a gorgeous beautiful day.

Then 2:42,2:43,2:44,2:45 etc.

My first thought was, My God, and just before St. Patrick's Day! Then Fuck you, you monkey humper (that's not his real profession). Then, Fuck, just before tax season. Then, Damn it's really nice out here. Fuck, I want to pack my shit and ride away right now.  Damn, I need to collect my pay checks. It mustAte, what? at least 50 degrees out here. Monkey humper, tax season, what time is it? 2:43. Are you still talking? He was saying, -small business, we just can't absorb . . . I was thinking, He sucks as a monkey humper anyway, I don't need to learn monkey humping from this one. Leave me alone, go away, then I got up and left.

And I packed my shit and rode off, home, into the wonderful, gorgeous and beautiful, Feels like Spring, doesn't it?, laid off, pink slipped, and beautiful day.

Aaron L